


The Man of his Life

by Lokkanel



Series: Skam Weeks [3]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Boys In Love, Coming Out, Declarations Of Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Kissing, M/M, Mention of mentall illness, Warning : this is some sappy shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23951524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokkanel/pseuds/Lokkanel
Summary: Isak and Even have been friends for almost as long as they can remember.Best friends.But then, just a few words whispered on a drunken night could change everything.A childhood friends to lovers AU written forSkam weeks
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Series: Skam Weeks [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719580
Comments: 18
Kudos: 177





	The Man of his Life

Isak and Even have been friends for almost as long as they can remember.

Best friends.

Even remembers being dragged by his parents to visit the family who had just moved in a house a little further down the road, and welcome them in the neighborhood. Even was sent to the living room, while the four adults chatted in the kitchen. There, he found a little boy sitting on the floor amid cardboard boxes, his arms crossed on his chest. He had a big pout on his face and tears were filling his pretty green eyes.

“Hei, I’m Even. I’m your new neighbor.” he waved at the little boy.

“Isak” he answered in a hiccup.

“Why are you crying?” Even asked as he sat on the floor next to him.

“I’m not crying.” the little boy groaned.

“Okay… but you look sad, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to live here, I want to go back home. I have no friends here…” the little boy said, trying to fight the sobs that were threatening to burst out of him.

“I can be your friend if you want.” Even offered, a soft, reassuring smile on his lips.

Isak’s breathing seemed to calm down a little but when he turned his face toward Even, he was looking at him with furrowed brows, as if he wasn’t trusting Even’s sincerity. So Even did the first thing he could think of, he put one arm around Isak’s shoulders and pulled the boy towards him to give him a little kiss on the cheek.

“Ugh, stop it!” Isak protested nudging Even in the ribs.

But the frown had disappeared from his face and his pout was replaced by a lovely crooked smile. And at that moment, Even knew he would do everything he could to make Isak smile. He was just an 8 year old kid but he felt like he had found his mission in life, and that was to make sure this little boy was always happy.

*

Since that day, they became inseparable.

They spent that entire summer together, paddling in their inflatable kiddie pools, watching Pixar movies sprawled on the couch at Even’s, playing with Isak’s lego, or building impenetrable blanket fortresses in their bedrooms where they hid from the rest of the world.

There was not a moment they didn’t spend together, until they had to go back to school.

Even’s mom took then both to school for their first day, Even holding Isak’s small trembling hand. He took him to his classroom and when Isak looked at him with wide, worried eyes, he leaned down and gave another kiss on the cheek.

“Have a good day, we’ll go home together okay?”

Isak sniffed into his sleeve and nodded before entering the classroom where he found a seat, his eyes not leaving Even. When another boy sat down next to Isak and started talking to him, Even just gave him a little encouraging smile and headed to his own classroom.

Later that day, Isak waited for Even’s class to finish so they could leave school and get back home together. The day after that, Even waited for Isak.

And they continued to do that everyday. They always waited for the other before going home. Even later when they were in high school and Isak had to stay later to study for a test, or Even got detention because he was doodling in his notebook instead of paying attention in class.

They always waited.

On their way back, they told each other about their days, their friends, and all the other million things that came to their minds. Often, when they arrived, they just stood in the middle of the street and continued talking, not willing to part, until their moms had to come get them and drag them home, sharing exasperated glances.

They could spend hours talking, on the phone, on their walks home, lying next to each other in the dark when they were sleeping over in the other’s bedroom. There was not a single thing they couldn’t say to each other, not a fear that couldn’t be confessed, or a secret that couldn’t be shared.

Once a week, they stopped by the cinema after school to see a movie. They chose the movie in turn, one week Even would choose an art film because “ _Isak had to be educated to the beauty of real cinema_ ”, and one week Isak would choose a blockbuster because _“Even needed to be less pretentious and to relax once in a while_ ”. They teased each other and always complained about the other’s choice, but they never missed a movie day.

Sometimes, they would just go to Even’s and watch a movie from his always growing DVD collection. What Even liked most was to show Isak some classics that he already knew and loved, and to look at him during the film, observing the reactions on Isak’s face, dimly illuminated by the screen. Isak would roll his eyes and nudge him or kick him as soon as he realized that he was being watched, but Even never stopped looking at him.

*

When they got a little bit older, Even took Isak with him to his friends’ parties and gave him his first beer, bursting out laughing when the boy scrunched up his nose after taking his first sip.

They witnessed each other first flirts, first kiss, helped each other through their first hangovers, and when Even had sex for the first time with his girlfriend Sonja, Isak was the first to know. Isak seemed to be a little bit grossed out by the all thing, but then, he was still only 13 years old after all… 

*

One night, they were lying in Even’s bed, looking at the smoke rings he was lazily blowing towards the ceiling when Isak murmured tentatively, “Ev, can I tell you something?”

“Yeah of course, anything.” he turned his body towards Isak, sensing that he needed his full attention.

“I… I think...” Isak stuttered, twisting the hem of his t-shirt between his hands “I think I like boys.”

Isak's face suddenly blushed crimson and his eyes were squeezed shut, as if he was waiting for the blow. When Even huffed out a little laugh, Isak's head shot up, a puzzled and slightly offended look on his face, “What’s so funny?!”

“Nothing! Sorry, it’s just that…”

“What??”

“Well, um…” Even trailed off, putting the joint they were smoking in the mug that was serving as an ashtray and placing it on his nightstand, “I think… I do too.”

“Huh? You’re… _gay_?” Isak blurted out, obviously still not comfortable with the word, “but… What about Sonja?”

“I like Sonja, I still like girls… but also boys, I think.”

“Oh… okay.”

“What about you? I’ve seen you kiss girls at parties, and you dated that Sara for a while....”

“Yeah, well it wasn’t… I mean I was just…” Isak squirmed on the bed his brows furrowed.

“Don’t worry, I understand…” Even said softly.

Isak looked back up at the ceiling, he had seemed to relax a bit, but his mind was obviously battling with a hundred questions. Even just looked at his profile and waited, until Isak snorted out a laugh and said, “You realize my mom is gonna think you’ve corrupted me?”

“What?” Even shrieked in a mocked offense, “Look at me, I’m practically a Saint! Maybe you’re the one who did the corrupting.”

“Yeah, right…” Isak chuckled, but Even could see the worry that suddenly clouded his eyes.

“Hey, it’s alright…” he reached for Isak and stroked his arm softly, “you don’t have to tell her right now, okay? And when you do, I’ll be here. It’s gonna be fine.”

Isak turned his body on his side so that they were lying face to face. They looked at each other for a minute or two, both of them smiling, but Even could still see a hint of trouble in Isak’s gaze. And in those situations, when Isak was sad or scared, when he needed comfort, Even always did the same thing he had been doing for years, since the very first day they had met.

“Can I still give you a kiss or is it gonna be weird now?” he whispered, his lips quirked up in a small grin.

Isak rolled his eyes but before he could answer, Even leaned towards him and pressed a tender kiss on his cheek.

*

Isak and Even were together for the best of times, but also through the worst of times.

When he was seventeen, Even was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. 

When he had his first major manic episode, he spent entire nights awake writing and painting on the walls of his bedroom, he emptied his bank account booking for a romantic weekend getaway on which he planned on taking Sonja and ask her to marry him. He was eventually found one night in mid november, outside wearing only his pyjamas, banging on the door of a jewelry store because he needed to find a diamond ring right this instant.

After that, he crashed hard into depression.

Even just stayed in his bed. He slept through entire days and nights, he didn’t shower, he barely ate.

He refused to see his friends, who were too scared of the state he was in to insist. Even Sonja eventually stayed away.

But everyday, Isak was there with him.

He went straight to the Bech Næsheim’s house after school, sat on the floor next to Even’s bed where he laid out his notebooks and did his homework while telling Even about his day. Even didn’t answer, he didn’t say a word, but Isak kept talking to him. Then, Isak would go home to have dinner with his parents and a couple of hours later, when everybody was fast asleep, he’d sneak out and go back to Even. Without a word, he would just slide under Even’s duvet and curl up next to him, holding him through the night. And as soon as the first beams of light started to poke through the curtains, Isak went back home whithout anybody noticing.

One night, Isak felt Even twist and turn in the bed. When he stopped moving and let out a deep tired sigh, Isak opened his eyes to find Even facing him, his fair skin and sad blue eyes softly illuminated by the moonlight.

“Isak…”

Isak hadn’t heard Even’s voice since he had come home and slipped into his depressive episode. It was hoarse and tired, no louder than a whisper

“Yes?”

“You should go, Isak…”

"Why?"

"Because I'm useless and I stink… I'm just a burden and I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me." Even said, defeated.

"Don’t talk like that…" Isak frowned, "And I’m here because I want to."

"I can't stand to see you feeling sad because of me, just… go home"

Isak snuggled up a little bit closer and ran his hand through Even’s hair, soothing him until his eyes fluttered back closed.

“Shut up Even, you know I’m not going anywhere.”

*

About a year later, it was Isak’s turn to see his life spiral out of control.

First, his sister Lea left the house because she couldn’t stand the tension between their parents anymore.

Then, his mother’s mental health got worse very quickly. She had severe mood swings and hallucinations, and she developed a deep paranoïa that left her unable to leave the house because she always felt like she was being followed everywhere she went.

It was suffocating.

And then, one day, his father left as well, with some bullshit excuse like his presence did Marianne more harm than good. But Isak knew he was just a coward that would rather let his teenage son alone, rather than taking responsibility and tending for his troubled wife.

Isak stayed. He tried to take care of his mom as best as he could, but there was only so much a 16 years old boy could do. And one night, after she attacked him when he went home from school, thinking he was an intruder, he locked himself in the bathroom and with shaking hands, he called Even.

“Can you please… please come get me…” he begged between sobs.

Even was running out of his place before he could even think of asking Isak what was going on.

That night, in his bed, Even held Isak as he cried against his chest, feeling the fabric of his tee-shirt getting soaked in tears. They didn’t talk, Even just ran his fingers through Isak’s messy curls and left soft kisses on his cheek, until the boy finally fell asleep.

The next day, Even’s roommate gave him the number of a guy named Eskild he knew from Uni who lived in a flatshare that had a room available. So Even helped Isak get stuff from his home and move in the kollektive with Eskild and two other girls.

The first night, Isak couldn’t sleep, so Even stayed with him, holding him close and whispering reassuring words to try and soothe him.

“I'll be alright Ev” Isak said, his voice tired and broken, “you don’t have to stay with me you know.”

“Shut up Isak, you know I’m not going anywhere.” he smiled.

He held Isak a little tighter and stayed the night, then the next, and the next… until Isak had found a little peace of mind, and Eskild sent him home promising he would look after his friend as if he was his own little godson.

*

Years went by and amidst all the joy and chaos, through the good times and the heartbreaks, there was one thing that never changed, Isak and Even were always there for each other, no matter what.

*

On a saturday like any other, they were walking towards Even’s apartment after a night out drinking with their friends. Even usually didn’t drink any or just very little alcohol because it could mess with his meds, but from time to time he allowed himself a night where he could let go and forget a little bit about all the rules he had to apply to himself every single day.

So that night, they were both a bit drunk when they got to Even’s place. They put a movie on, more as a habit rather than because they were really interested in watching it, and ended up sprawled on Even's bed.

"So, don't get mad, but how about…?" Even asked tentatively as he got a joint out of the pocket of his jean jacket that was lying on a chair next to the bed.

"Where did you get that?" Isak frowned.

"Um… Jonas"

"For fuck's sake, I swear I'm gonna…"

"Don't be mad at him, I'm the one who asked him for weed… and relax I'm not gonna start smoking again, it's just for tonight.”

Even looked at Isak eyebrows raised and a small crooked smile on his lips. He held his friend’s disapproving look, until Isak finally rolled his eyes and groaned, “Ugh… fine. If I say no you’re just gonna smoke it on your own later anyway.”

“You know me so well.” Even winked at Isak as he lit up the joint, what earned him another eyeroll in return.

After taking a few drags, Even handed Isak the joint and felt that his head was already dizzy from the mix of alcohol and weed he wasn’t used to anymore. He felt his body relax next to Isak’s, as if he was sinking into the mattress.

The joint must have had a quick effect on Isak too, because just a few minutes later, he was talking excitedly about an article he’d just read about the theory of parallel universes. Even just looked at Isak fondly as he ranted about the infinite possibilities that were co existing at that very moment, all the Isaks and Evens living in other times and places and what they could be doing right now.

“You’ve never thought about that?” he asked Even with wide eager eyes.

"I don't know…” Even trailed of, “I think I prefer just thinking about this reality being the results of millions of small moments, choices and chances, that led to this moment. Right here, right now. Do you imagine, how many coincidences have led for us to meet and be in each others lives? That’s really fascinating to me."

"Yeah but it is also scary” Isak answered, “I mean, because of one choice, one turn, you could end up missing on… I don’t know, your true soulmate or whatever…"

"What?” Even chuckled, “You Isak Valtersen, believing in soulmates? I never thought I'd hear that…"

"Ugh, maybe not soulmates but..."

Even felt Isak shrug next to him and heard him let out a sigh before he said, "You can laugh but it's easier for you, you can either meet the woman _or_ the man of you life, you have a lot more possibilities than most people…"

Even was beginning to feel himself drifting off, his eyelids getting heavier both from fatigue and under the effect of the weed.

"Mmmh… I think I'll end up with a woman anyway." he mumbled.

"Really? How do you know that?"

"I don't think I can have a great love story with a man" Even said as he closed his eyes.

There was a moment of silence, Even couldn’t say how long it lasted - a few seconds, a few minute - before Isak talked again.

"Why?" he asked, his voice weak, sounding like he was far away.

"Because no matter how much I would love him, he would know he could never be the man of my life. He would know there is another one that could never be replaced.”

Another silence.

“You are the man of my life Isak. The only one… always will be." Even said, almost in a whisper before he fell into the arms of Morpheus.

*

The next morning, Even woke up with a pounding headache, his mouth was dry and he felt like the morning light was burning through his eyelids.

_Right, I drank last night didn’t I? Fuck…_

Even let out a groan as he rolled over in his bed. He shut his eyes to try and stop his head from spinning, and when he opened them again, Even saw that the other side of the bed was empty. 

He was sure he didn’t go to bed alone the night before, and after a moment trying to recollect his memories, he remembered.

Isak was here with him. Did he already leave ? He wouldn’t without waking Even up and saying goodbye. Even listened for any noise coming from the apartment, thinking that Isak had probably just got up but the place was silent. 

_That’s weird…_

Even got out of bed, and stood still for a moment, feeling the room spinning around him. He went to the bathroom where he splashed some cold water on his face. His headache was slowly fading away but the night before was still a bit of a blur.

He remembered Isak looking at him like he was about to scold him and it suddenly came back to him.

_Fuck did I smoke too? Great…_

He headed to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee and jumped in surprise when he found Isak standing there, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest.

When he heard Even come in, Isak looked up at him and Even could instantly see that something was wrong. He looked tired, his lips were drawn into a thin trembling line, and he had dark circles under his eyes.

“You’re okay?”

He took a few steps towards Isak and could see Isak’s body tense up, “Hey, what’s wrong, what happened?”

When he finally stood next to Isak, Even leaned down to kiss him like he always did when his friend was feeling upset, but Isak dodged his touch and moved away from him abruptly, until he was standing on the other side of the room. 

Even felt something like a weird clenching sensation in his chest.

Isak had never refused a kiss from Even before. Often he would squirm and groan, he would roll his eyes, tell even to stop and shove him teasingly after Even would have given him his comfort kiss on the cheek. But he had never avoided him.

“Isak, what…”

“What happened?!” Isak snapped back.

Even shook his head, trying to recollect his memory from the night before. He could see them stumbling into his apartment after their night out with the guys, he remembered a movie playing in the background, the smoke of a joint filling his bedroom as he laid on his bed next to Isak and then… _then what?_

“How can you just say something like that and just fall asleep, like nothing happened?”

“What? I… I don’t” Even stuttered, getting more and more worried as he tried to recall what he could have possibly said to Isak that could have let him so distressed that he stayed up all night.

“You don’t remember.” 

Even couldn’t tell if Isak sounded more sad or angry, or what he actually feared the most.

“Isak, I…”

_You are the man of my life Isak. The only one… always will be._

_Oh._

“Oh fuck…” Even groaned as memories of the night before became clearer and clearer in his mind.

He hid his face in his hands and shook his head, huffing out a bitter laugh.

_What an idiot._

“Are you laughing at me? What… was it some kind of joke?” This time there was no doubt about how angry Isak sounded, hurt even.

“What? No, of course not! I would never, you know that…” Even blurted out, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I mean I was drunk, and I was high…”

“So that’s why you said that… because you were drunk?” Isak asked.

His voice was suddenly flat, his eyes unreadable. All Even knew is that the response he would give him could solve everything or break them beyond repair.

Maybe it was his chance to make this go away, blame it on the alcohol and the weed, brush it off as his drunken brain just exaggerating when he just meant to say that Isak would always be his best friend. Maybe it would be enough to ease Isak’s mind and for them to go back to the way things were.

“No.” Even looked down at the ground, not daring to meet Isak’s eyes.

Even felt his heart quickened, he clenched his hands into fists to try and stop them from shaking.

“No?” 

“No… I mean, yes maybe I said something because I was drunk and I’m sorry it came out that way, but the truth is that I should have told you that a long time ago. Although I’m not even sure I really understood it myself but I… I love you Isak. I think deep down, I always have. I was just too stupid or too scared to see it.”

Even let out a shaky breath and felt like a ton had been lifted off his shoulders. But when he looked up at Isak, he was frowning, his eyes glistening with tears.

“I’m sorry…” Even pleaded, “I’m sorry if I have ruined everything by saying that, I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same and if we can’t be friends anymore… If you want to go I’ll understand… If you want to leave…”

Before Even could finish talking, Isak had suddenly crossed the space between them in a couple of long strides, he places his hands carefully on Even's shoulders, af if he needed it to keep his balance, and raised himself on his tiptoes to capture Even’s lips in a kiss. The sweetest, most tender kissed that was ever laid on his lips.

Even couldn't move, he was frozen in shock, his long arms dangling on each side of his body, his lips immobile until Isak whispered against them, “Shut up, _mannen i mit liv_ , you know I’m not going anywhere.”

Even leaned back and looked at the sweet beautiful boy in front of him in complete awe and disbelief. When Isak gave him a little teasing smirk, he finally came back to his senses and wrapped his arms around Isak as tightly as he could before returning his kiss. 

They held onto each other as if they were afraid to let go, their hands grabbing each others body desperately, their mouths hungry for the others tongue, his breath, his moans.

They eventually let go and rested their foreheads against one another, panting, smiles wide and heads dizzy.

“Wow... I can’t believe we waited so long for this.” Isak whispered.

“Well, I guess there’s no more time to waste then.”

Even lifted Isak up until he was seating on the kitchen counter and leaned in to kiss him. Isak wrapped his legs around Even's waist to bring him closer, moaning against Even's lips as their body collided with one another.

When Even began running his mouth and his tongue along his neck, Isak squirmed and let out a giggle that vibrated against Even's lips and made his heart to do a somersault in his chest.

Even leaned back and looked deep into the bright green eyes of the man he had loved for longer that he could even remember and silently, he recalled the promise he had made himself when he was just a little 8 years old boy.

He would make everything in his power to make sure this man would always feel happy and loved.

Forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading <3
> 
> This story that been on my mind for a while, so I was glad for this "childhood friends to lovers" theme, which gave me the push to finally write it!  
> I hope you liked it, if you want to tell me what you thought, your comments are always highly appreciated :)
> 
> You can come say hello on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lokkanel) or [tumblr](https://lokkanel.tumblr.com/)  
> Much Love  
> L.


End file.
